Shall We Kiss – A Sputnik Poem

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Sputnik says:

“My dear friend, Gelia F once asked me,
‘Shall we kiss, Sputnik?’
and I could not decide whether she really meant it
or just said it for fun.
It was impossible to deduce from the situation.

As friends
we could say everything to each other
because we never feared love
suddenly could come between us.
We felt we were in a secure space. 

We had always been so clean and decent,
with pure straight lines in our minds,
without the dirt of feelings
on our hands. We had never let anything lie
and rot. We had never let anything stand hidden away,
so it eventually would smell really ugly.

I have always thought,
that I understood her completely,
but when she suddenly said:
‘Shall we kiss, Sputnik?’
I realized that I might,
nevertheless, have overlooked something:
some old forgotten dirty dishes within myself
which I did not know
if I had the time to deal with now
because I was in such a terrible hurry
out of the door.

The more we were aware of
that love was not there between us
and should not arise between us,
between our completely straight lines,
because it would be so damn unsuitable to us,
the more it started fermenting between us.

I suddenly felt that I was sitting in our joint apartment,
which I did not know existed
and I was moving out, even before
we had moved in together, and I felt
very unhappy that it did not work out,
that the relationship we never had,
ended up this way.

With my strange logic,
as I know no one knows better than Gelia F,
I feel completely convinced that
she will understand
that my unknown love for her during so many years
ceased at the moment,
I finally recognized it –
the moment she asked me:
‘Shall we kiss, Sputnik?’”

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